Abyss of Darkness(EN)

The words, they never tell.

I was looking down into the abyss in front of me. Nothing could penetrate the darkness.
This is what the world has become.
With ages of destruction, we have lost what we once took for granted. 
Over time, the leaders led us against each other.
For their profit, we fought. 
In the end we all lost. 

War is hell.

"Run!" I shouted, as I heard the whistling of a bomb.
I forgot to get out of the way myself.
The world changed. I no longer saw the battleground around me. It was all darkness.
Then came the light, but only for a brief moment.
In a moment I saw the whole battlefield. I saw what the men and women on both sides were thinking. I heard a voice:
"Ray..."
"Ray, get up, we have to go," the voice said.
"Ray!" was shouted into my ear.
Then it all came back.
I had dirt and rubble all over me. Someone was trying to pull me out. I could see by the markings that he was on our side.
I tried to stand up, but my right foot was severely injured. Blood stained my foot and some of the dirt around me. 
The other guy whose name I didn't know understood, he supported me with his shoulder.

Slowly we left the front behind. It seemed like an eternity, but eventually I was in the military hospital. The pain didn't come until then.
With pain came agony. With agony came dreams.
In my hours awake I was living a hell. In my dreams, heaven.

I saw what the world could have been. What could have happened if there was no war.
I saw the people in peace; life in happiness and security.
Most of all, I saw myself.
But this was only a dream.

The days and nights merged together. There was no hope apparent, but I didn't have time to wish for it either.
Eventually I recovered, but the world could never be what it used to be.

By the time I recovered the war had ended. I had been fighting for months and then were in the hospital for weeks.

I was honorably released from the military, even rewarded for my achievements.
But it was all in vain. I was never going to fight a war again, or so I thought at the time.

I rejoined the civilian society.
It was strange how no one seemed to care what had happened - There was a war, so what?
We won the war, but it seems the only thing that would have made people care is losing.

I have now realized just how much war can change a person. It seemed alien to me that people lived in such apparent safety and sense of security. Yet, I was the alien.
Nothing had changed for them with the war. It was just another political game, like so many others.

One day I was talking with someone about politics. This person was a supporter of PuppetPoliticianA. His reasoning seemed to be mostly based on what the politician himself had promised to the people.
There was no previous record of that politician. No proof of his willingness or ability to do anything.
Yet, the poor guy believed this politician will fix the country.

At some point I realized, that people like this make up most of the voters. Those that could change the situation don't think they can or simply don't want to, if the politician benefits them in any way.
This is when I realized, that I had moved from one war into another.
It was the state against the people, but the people didn't even notice it.

Now, years later, I stand here. I look down on the abyss below. I think of what could have been and why it didn't work out. 
I tried to save the people, but failed. All odds were stacked against me.
I've set out to change the world into a place, where nothing like this could ever happen again. It won't be easy, but I have to.

2.10.2013 - This story was written here and in one take, there will be fixes to grammar and expression though.
I still feel like so much has been left unsaid. As sad as it is, I can't explain everything and I don't intend to either. Thinking is not my privilege.